Healing begins

Its been awhile since i have sent a msg. Since december 24th maybe? He sent a msg on Jan 4th. I havent responded . He asked for a food pack. Wrote that in my last entry... 

Ive been a mess. Angry, sad , used,  taken advantage of, feel like a fool, empty, dumb..list goes ln..yet i do miss him?? A little . Thinking should i just g ahead and reply. Then the saga continues. Uncertainty, the want money money money part. 

Idk if i miss him as a person or just the love i thought i would have ? That wasnt him . Plus he hasnt been charming for years. 😩😢😢 Plus he wanted us to be friends yet he says he loves me and writes it on every msg.. so confused 🤔 😕 

I read alot about a narc traits and other victims. Just ugh!! 😤😠.  They're just so Evil and terrible.

But one day at a time. Or hour by hour ? 

Ps. He had written yesterday 

Another fuckin letter talking about money.  That he wasnt mas that i hadnt sent any christmas money!  And are you okay. This is isnt like you going so long without messaging ... 😑😑😑