Not feeling okay about this 🫤🤨

Well he keeps saying best friend.   My friend.  Fuck it hurts. 😫🥺He doesnt know that. I told him im still hurting. I need time to heal. I cant be his friend till im over him. If never ... Im Sorry dude. Feels like his laughing at me too. Playing with my heart. Why cant he just say its "over " like a normal person.. noooo he gotta be that jerk.!! 😤😤😡😠 I accepted to be his friend. He gotta take responsibility for it goes . I cant pretend im not hurt . I am hurt and angry about it. 👎👎 

But whatever . I dont care how he reacts . I gave him 14 years of my life. That is alot of years. I dont need him now. He doesnt need me either . For him its just passing time?? I dont even know anymore... 😵🤔🤨🤨 Just weird how he acts. I dont like it... 😠😡🫤